Current mood:

thoughtful

Dream
Well...today was interesting. I had my last exam, i did really well i think! Im pretty confident! Yea for me....

Drove around for a while, did some errands. It was a GORGEOUS day! I love this weather....

Hung out with Phillip for a lil while this evening...thats always nice. I really miss him, strange as he is... lol
Gotta luv him *shrugs*

Didnt work...YEA!

Work tomorrow (well today technically...lol) Then I gotta do a favor for my favorite Pimp/Diva and watch some babies. (What was he thinkin? Me with children? Weird mix eh?) lol So second nature, its weird....



I dreamt that I had a friend that past away, and they left their two year old son to ME! The entire dream was about finding out that the friend who had died (which according to my dream it had been a year since he died) had a will no one knew about. They found it after puttin the kid in the foster system (and he went thru like 6 homes within that year). So they called me, and told me that the friend (who was an artist in NY) left everything he owned, his artwork, his place, EVERYTHING (including his son) to me!
And I was given a choice....they could pay me what they sold his stuff for, and I could sign custody of the child to the state of NY and walk away....or I could raise him.....

**THEN** it fast-forwarded to later on: I chose to raise the child. I apparently disappeared for a month or two to NY to work out all the legal stuff, and get things settled, and then I brought him back home with me. (This is where the second half of the dream starts. I went to church, it was like a sunday evening service, and I overhear everyone talkin about me, and the child. Saying how crazy I was to take him, how much they disapproved of my decision, yada yada...(he was in the nursery).
I walked by everyone, ignored them, until I got to where Cyrous, Josh, Nathan, Melissa G, Ryan & Heather, were all standing. Chris (my brother-in-law was close by) Heather was saying how crazy I was, and how crazy id always been, very upset with me, everyone else was pretty quiet. (she didnt say any of this to my face mind you)
I walked up, kinda laughed it all off. I looked at Josh (who has known me my WHOLE life, hes such a sweetheart, love that dude) and he looked so worried. So I said "I know everyone thinks I am crazy for doing this (looked around at everyone, stopped for a second at Heather)...and I dont really disagree. (looked at Cyrous, cuz i knew if anyone might get me about this part he would) But I couldnt walk away!" Kinda got choked up a lil, paused. And Pam Cubas walks up (mother of two, for those who dont know)
I continued: "And he must thing hes living with a maniac, cuz the first night I brought him home I wouldnt leave his side, I just sat there staring at him watching him fall asleep. I couldnt leave, I couldnt move. I just sat there looking at him, like if I stopped looking he wouldnt be there anymore. Hed be gone..." (had to stop for a moment right here too) "I just sat there the whole night, so mesmerized by him, and I just bawled. I just cried my eyes out, so scared, so worried, so happy, sooo just full of feelings Id never felt before...." *really got teary-eyed here*
I looked at Cyrous, and he was a lil choked up too, and Josh/MelissaG/Pam & Nathan even looked a lil emotional. (heather and ryan were still lookin at me like I was on crack lol)
THEN, the best part, Chris (brother in law) had left to go get him from the nursery, and comes into the sanctuary with him. He came running over to me, and wrapped his lil arms around me...and I just sat there kneeling on the floor holdin this lil boy, and I remember I felt so content...so peaceful. It was so weird. I woke up kinda sad it was just a dream....I felt so complete in the dream, so full in my spirit. I cant wait to be a mom one day, I know that this wont even COMPARE to the emotions that it will REALLY bring out, this was just a lil dream....I actually woke up kind of sad thu...