~*~Kimberly~*~
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Kimberly" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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11:01 pm
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Good Days
Today was an AWESOME DAY! I don't know what was so great, but I wasn't stressed for a change! lol
I've made some decisions recently:
I'm going to high light my hair - RED!!! (Yea!!!)
I'm going to let Nate's mom do it (shes a professional) when we go to Ohio to "Meet the Parents" after christmas! (Yikes, nervous about that)
Nate told me he loved me a week or so ago! I was NOT expecting that ANYTIME soon, but it was a nice surprise...
I do, however, think that was my issue the other night:
My feelings for him were getting pretty strong, and it freaks me out...
Cuz I don't tend to have the best taste in guys...at least in guys that will stick around. So getting attached is a lil nerve racking...
But once that was all out in the open, the relationship totally changed...I tell him EVERYTHING now. We are sooo much more "FUTURE focused" (SCARY btw!) He talks about what we'll do when he gets outta the airforce in THREE years...which doesnt even seem to phase me (freak me out) - the fact it doesnt freak me out kinda freaks me out thu lol - I really feel very confident in this relationship...I really feel like if he isn't "the one" then hes definitely gonna be around a LONG time! In all honesty though, I really think he MIGHT just be the one...
It's all so scary, and so exciting! lol And every time I go to work and talk to the girls about him, whether its something funny that happened when I was with him, or a fight we had, whatever, they make comments about how we act like we are married...and it sounds kinda nice :)
**sigh**
Welcome to the world of illogical female thoughts and emotions!
Current Mood:  loved
Current Music: Motor Mouth singers on VH1
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12:03 am
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Welp...
It's been forever and a day since I use this thing....
There's a million things to say...yet I have no idea what to say?!
Crazy, I know.
I had a serious melt down a couple days ago *might have been a week by now - probably has been*
I just feel apart.
Work is horrible.
My manager is the most inhuman person alive.
She's unbelievable.
I get sooo upset just being at work (whether she is working that day or not) because being in that building makes me think about her, and that is enough to ruin a day.
Left my church.
That place has serious issues.
They drive so many people away being the way they are.
And now I'm one of them.
I've been going to Aaron's church lately. Seaford Baptist.
Cyrous would probably rather I'd chosen somewhere else...
But that is a whole other entry...*one I wont be posting-not my story to tell*
But its a good church.
They care about people.
They are so warm, so open, so full of love,
And they don't know anything about me...
But still, I'm totally stressed out.
School sucks.
Work sucks.
And to make matters worse, I melt down.
I question everything I am.
Who I am. What I am. What I believe. What I dont.
Everything!
Thats the worst feeling I know.
Looking at the mirror ...and seeing a complete stranger.
I just freaked out.
So I start making calls.
Trying to find someone to help me remember who I use to be...
Someone who knows me enough to calm me down.
Someone who can give me some kinda perspective.
I called Phillip - He didn't want to talk.
So I started driving.
I drove down jefferson to JClyde
I drove back to denbigh
I turned down lucas creek -
And just tried to remember the days with Ben
When I still knew who I was...
When things made sense.
Drove home - PRAYING Ben would be online.
Thinking maybe he could say something to help.
Or just listen,
Let me vent...anything.
But he was away...Out of town.
So I just gave up.
I went to bed and cried my eyes out
Prayed - still not sure why I was doing so
And after a few hours...
I managed to fall asleep.
The days passed by, I calmed down, but I have a feeling that this night will repeat itself until I resolve whatever caused it...
But...
WHAT CAUSED IT???
Current Mood:  confused
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11:17 pm
[Link] | [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] ">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/coolcatcatherine/1059512927_deringeyes.jpg" border="0" alt="Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say "Your head is in the clouds." "><br>Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and<br>your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and<br>as many say "Your head is in the<br>clouds." <br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/coolcatcatherine/quizzes/What%20type%20of%20eyes%20do%20you%20have%3F/"> <font size="-1">What type of eyes do you have?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/1033888741_luffdepend.jpg" border="0" alt="HASH(0x8b0a230)"><br>dependent <br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/rosiekins/quizzes/Which%20Personality%20Disorder%20Do%20You%20Have%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/I/Iceangel143/1078085833_sheartsick.JPG" border="0" alt="heartsick"><br>You have a heartsick soul! Youre the type of girl<br>who always has a crush and is writing their<br>name on all your books. You are a hopeless<br>romantic. Waiting for that prince charming, you<br>take love seriously, but still play any chance<br>you get. You can have a lot if boys who are<br>friends, but waiting for that perfect<br>boyfriend. Sometimes you are discouraged<br>because there are no sparks but even if the<br>smallest thing happens, youre on Cloud 9. You<br>believe in true love and wait for it. Just dont<br>be afraid to take a chance. Love is all about<br>risks. <br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Iceangel143/quizzes/What%20Kind%20of%20SOUL%20do%20you%20posses%3F%20(For%20Girls%20only)%20Incredible%20Anime%20Pictures!/"> <font size="-1">What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/J/jonester/1070930212_CMyDocumentscaramel.jpg" border="0" alt="cara"><br>You're a Caramel!! You are known for your<br>sweetness. You are comfortable with yourself,<br>and help others feel the same way about<br>themselves. You are generally friendly to<br>everyone, and believe in second chances. <br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/jonester/quizzes/Which%20kind%20of%20candy%20are%20you%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which kind of candy are you?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/V/Vincentsdream/1074560009_turesalone.jpg" border="0" alt="Alone"><br>Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but<br>its there, and your friends can see it. You<br>constantly feel alone, and need to do things to<br>fill your time. Your afraid to tell people<br>this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad<br>way, and you think you screwed up everything.<br>And when you are in love is when you are sad<br>the most. (Please Vote) <br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Vincentsdream/quizzes/What%20Emotion%20Dominates%20you%3F%20/"> <font size="-1">What Emotion Dominates you? </font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> (SOOO not me???!!) |
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12:02 am
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Yea!
I heard from Johnny!
He made it to boot camp :-D
He's okay, so I dont have to keep worrying!
Soooo relieved
Got his address down in GA now,
So I can write him while he's down there...
Help keep his spirits up
While the drill sargents try to kill him :(
Cuz they definitely will have amble reasons
*sigh*
Miles still a no show?
Dont care much anymore..
Phillip and I have gotten a lot closer.
Still a weird relationship...
But at least I can count on him
Cant say that about everyone you meet, can ya?
Ben's back in town.
Talked to him but havent seen him...
Hoping to though, just for old times sake
Still havent heard from Russell?
Gonna have to whoop some *WHAT*
lol
Really good mood lately
Couldnt be happier...unless life suddenly became perfect lol
Totally excited
GREAT family news
*YOU WILL HEAR LOTS MORE ABOUT THIS IN THE FUTURE*
Those that know are meant to know, the rest of you will find out in due time ;-)
Nuttin personal to ya'll
Current Mood:  excited
Current Music: Mixed CD
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11:34 pm
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Bad taste
I obviously have HORRIBLE judgement...I cannot see someone whose motives aren't pure...at least until I've gotten close enough for that realization to break my heart.
I trust too much, too easily.....
Lesson learned?
I sure hope so....
Current Mood: doubtful
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01:19 am
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Dream
Well...today was interesting. I had my last exam, i did really well i think! Im pretty confident! Yea for me....
Drove around for a while, did some errands. It was a GORGEOUS day! I love this weather....
Hung out with Phillip for a lil while this evening...thats always nice. I really miss him, strange as he is... lol
Gotta luv him *shrugs*
Didnt work...YEA!
Work tomorrow (well today technically...lol) Then I gotta do a favor for my favorite Pimp/Diva and watch some babies. (What was he thinkin? Me with children? Weird mix eh?) lol So second nature, its weird....
( Click here to read about my CRAZY dream!!! )
Current Mood:  thoughtful
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10:58 pm
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Fill This Out
Post your answers as a comment if you feel the urge to fill this out for me guyz
( Survey )
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04:35 pm
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Time for Humor
( For those of you who have a sense of humor and some time to kill )
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01:15 am
[Link] | Worked from 4pm till like 1230, dead tired
Lots goin on, last week of school...exams, yippee
Burnt, went to the tannin bed again, been a while since the last time, im fried like some chicken and i didnt even put on the grease/oil (however you prefer ur chicken fried) *shrugs*
Dead tired, goin to bed. I'll elaborate on some stuff later thu im sure
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11:32 pm
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11:57 pm
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WOW Lindz
( LONG survey about lil ol' me :-D )
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10:02 pm
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Freaking Out
I asked: What are the odds you get sent to iraq after boot camp Johnny?
Johnny answered: very high
That was just to easy for him to say...I dont like that. I am wiggin out, and its not MY life that is in danger! Why isnt he more worried? What is it with this male ego need to act tough!? GRRRR!
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Anyhoots. Life is eh?! Just a mess, total confusion. School is stressin me out. Work is stressin me out. Life in general is stressin me out. Im just a tad stressed at the moment I guess you could safely say. :( GRRRRRR!
Jeanette has been a GODSENT! She helps keep me sane! She doesnt even know how much I appreciate her, which is my own darn fault. I'm goin to have to say something/do something so she knows how awesome she has been. It's the least I can do.
Ive been spendin quite a bit of money lately. I need to chill out! I havent been balancing my checkbook regularly either. Im gettin bad :'( gracious
My head is spinnin, im just a mess right now. I can barely concentrate to write this down/type this out/WHATEVER! Gracious i need one SERIOUS professional massage. :(
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12:15 am
[Link] | ( Survey )
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10:52 pm
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Question?
Does anyone still use ICQ?!
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06:05 pm
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Survey
I havent done one of these in forever! Feel free to join in and do one too :-)
HAVE YOU EVER...
Frenched a girl/guy u like? Yes
Been in love: Yes
Been so drunk u blacked out: Nope
Gone out in public in your pajamas: Yes
Missed school b/c it was raining: Yea, floods
Cheated on a B/F or G/F: Never
Kept a secret from everyone: Yes
Set a body part on fire: No
Had an imaginary friend: I had an imaginary dog when I was little that I was afraid of....
Called or seen a psychic: No
Ever cried at a chick Flick: Yes, regularly
Had a crush : Yes
Done something stupid to impress your crush: Said stupid stuff...but more out of nerves than attempting to impress..
Found a cartoon character attractive: Aladdin was kinda hot...lol dark mysterious...yea he was hot
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: Not really...its called a VCR people
Just stayed home: Yes
Prank called someone: Once or twice
Been on stage: Yes
Gotten in a car accident: Yes, stupid woman ran a stop sign and almost took me out today when I was goin to lunch, GRRRR
Made homemade fudge: Not yet...good idea thu
Seen the Eiffel Tower: I wish
FAVORITES
Type of sandwich: Depends: Peanut Butter or Turkey & Ham w/mayo on Italian Cheese and Herb bread
Coffee or hot chocolate: Hot chocolate, don't like coffee
Milk or chocolate milk: Regular Milk
Cold or hot: Hot, Summertime is the BEST! The beach, pools, bathing suits, actually having a tan!!! Looking forward to all these things!
Day or night: Night
Big or little: Dunno? Depends?! lol
Here or there: Everywhere!
Jeans or cords: Jeans
Wool or cotton: Cotton, wool itches too much
Stripes or solid: Depends
New or old: Depends
DO YOU..
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Yes
Do you have a best friend: Yes
Who's your funniest friend: Tina/Jeanette
Who do you go to the mall with: Jason/Jon
Known the longest: APRIL! No contest
Whose parents do you know the best: I'll have to go with April again. They are like my second parents.
Who do you go to for advice: Mom, Phillip, Cyrous, Jason, April...
Who knows all your secrets: Gods the only one who wins this one
Who do you cry with: Mom, Phillip, April, Jason
Wear eye shadow: Yes
Have a dog: My dad does?!
Do you want a tattoo: Not really
Ever have the falling dream: YES
Have a computer in your room: Yes-sir-ree-bob
Have any regrets: Yes
IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU...
Cried: Almost did
Cut your hair: No
Worn a bathing suit: No
Bought something: Food...
Gone for a walk: Not really
Gone out for dinner: Yes
Said "I love you": Yes, to my momma...
Felt Stupid: Yes
Written a letter: No
Written a paper: No, but I will be soon
Written in a journal: My Livejournal. This is the third time
Watched your favorite movie: No
Had a serious talk: Remotely
Missed someone: Yes
Hugged someone: Yes
Had a nightmare: Dont remember my dream last night?!
Fought with someone: Yes, witch at work
Fought with your parent(s): No
What are you wearing right now: Work clothes. (Black slacks and a white collar shirt, took the vest off already)
ARE YOU...
Are you wearing pajamas: No
Are you tired: A bit
Are you hungry: Not much
Are you eating: Yes
Are you happy: Remotely
Are you talking to someone: No
DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
God/Devil: Yes
Your friends: Yes
Aliens: No
Love: Yes
Destiny: Yes
Signs: Sorta
The Closet Monster: No
The Big Bang Theory: Yes, God said "Bang!" and BAM, there it all was :-D
One person for everyone: Yes
Government Conspiracies: Definitely. I am all about conspiracies...lol, I got loads of them. lol
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05:50 pm
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GRRRRRRRR
Bianca is at it again.
This jerk chick at work is impossible. Shes so freakin mean! I dont get it?! Why would someone be so freakin mean?
ITS NOT LIKE IM MEAN TO HER!!! (well...until today!) I just straight got a tude with her today. No way around it. Im not gonna sit back and let her think that just because Im a nice person overall that she can walk all over me and treat me like I am dirt. BULL CRAP!!!!
And I repeat...
BULL CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's just gonna have to get her tail knocked off this pedestal she thinks she is on. And I am totally game for being the one to do so! She has no idea what shes started. I dont play. You can only push me so far...Im not afraid to tell her like it is.
And if she keeps this crap up I will take it to the corporate level and let them know what Im dealing with. They dont play with people like her....when they know about them. Right now, shes slidin under their radar...but not for much longer. Heck no!!!
Current Mood:  pissed off
Current Music: The hum of my computer and sounds of mom cookin dinner
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11:59 pm
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:-D!!
Today has been great. The weather could have been a LOT warmer for me, but oh well.
Church went pretty good. The kids were decent. I had nursery today. Lannie is my new favorite church kid. That girl is sooo much fun and so darn cute.
Saw Phillip today. He asked me to meet him at Plaza Azteca around three. So we hung out, talked, ate....it was awesome to see him again. Just awesome. Ive really missed him.
Dead tired...update more later....
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12:30 am
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Well well
I worked a twelve hour shift today. Eh! :'( LONG LONG DAY!
Jeanette and I made plans for more tanning. lol She found a place thats even cheaper....actually Kurt told her about the place his gf goes to, so we are gonna check that out. (Plus we have a coupon) lol
Havent talked to Jon since my bday...startin to worry about that boy lol
I have a million things to do and NO TIME to do them.
I need to put TWO checks in the bank.
Balance my checkbook (BADLY NEED TO DO THIS!!!)
Get an Easter outfit.
Also need to pay my cell phone bill soon...
Bla...bla...bla...bla
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Good news is, I talked to Johnny last night. That was awesome. I miss that boy :)
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10:56 pm
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I'm OLD!
Im now twenty. The bday was fun. I got two free DP's at work and a dollar for subway cookies lol. I got money from my mom and a bunch of cute random stuff. And Kurn got me a gift certificate for jewelery and some bath stuff. AND she gave me Mr. Wonderful, who says ALL the right things, literally.
Jon gave me How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days, and we watched it. We also went to the mall and spent some of my Bday money.
Im a lil bit burnt lol. I went to a tanning bed today with my girl Jeanette. Then we went shoppin at the mall. It was awesome. Shes such a crazy Jersey Girl. lol Gotta love her. She's a hoot!
Im sure I'll think of more to ramble about later....but for now im shuttin up
Current Mood:  mischievous
Current Music: A Snickers Commercial
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11:43 pm
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Head is better...Not killin me anymore
Im still dead tired though. I was on my feet for 7+ hours today.....dang registers. I feel like Ive been demoted being put as a cashier. Geeze
I turned in an EXTREMELY rough excuse of a rough draft this afternoon...*prays her professor doesnt eat her alive for it* (He said sumthings better than nuttin?! Let's see if he really meant it....lol)
My cousin Jake has a baby girl now. (Well she was born in December actually) They are living with my grandmother for a few months, so I'm hoping to get to see her finally tomorrow when I get off work. Everyone keeps tellin me how adorable she is! Im so jealous! I wanna play with her too! lol
(Btw, shes givin Kurn baby fever....hehe)
Lifes okay, nuttin exciting goin on other than that. I'm gonna go eat some pizza now. Peace out homies
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